Change is here! That's what we were all chanting a few months ago, ba? Change has also come to my life. I've been AWOL for many reasons. The summary is this. I'm in my 30s. I have 2 kids. I was 'married' to a man that I couldn't live with (yes, I said was). And now we've decided to part ways. Some of my friends haven't even gotten married the first time. And I'm already looking for my second marriage. Okay, maybe I'm not looking to get married. After my ex and I decided to call it quits, I promised myself a year of aloneness and celibacy. I lasted only three months. Not because I wasn't strong enough, but because I met a guy I thought was worth giving it all up for. He brought a lot of sunshine into my otherwise dark world. I might someday tell you the story of why I left my ex (or maybe he left me). But for now, I'd like to focus on the happy part, aka the new man.

Let's call him KO! I call him KO (as in knock out) because of what he does to me every time I get in bed with him. But also because it's his initials (please don't try to guess who it is). I met KO at a wedding. Weddings are apparently a really good place to meet guys; just FYI. Anyways, I was sat at a table alone (because my friend went to the bathroom) when he slid into her seat and asked what my name was. I refused to say, and just smiled at him. He asked again, "What's your name? I'm KO." Still, I sat there smiling. But he didn't give up. I think at some point, he thought I was deaf and dumb? Because he brought out his phone, opened the  note pad app, and proceeded to type on there, "I'm KO, what's your name?". When he handed the phone to me and I saw what he'd typed, I actually burst out laughing. And then I said to him, "You think I'm deaf and dumb?", to which he replied "My bad, you just kept smiling at me and the expression on your face never changed."

We laughed about it all, and that's how we got talking. But I still didn't tell him my name. He asked if I wanted to take a walk outside, and I was more than happy to get some fresh air. You know Lagos weddings can be a bit much. So I waited for my friend to return from the bathroom, and off I went with KO. We walked into the parking lot, and then he asked if I wanted to go into his car and talk there. We did, and that's when he said, "You still haven't told me your name, mystery woman." Something about him calling me 'mystery woman' tickled me. So I responded, "Why don't you just call me mystery woman?"

KO: So, Mystery Woman, what or who brought you to this wedding today?
Me: I have no idea why I'm  here. I really didn't want to come. But my friend refused to go alone. So I guess I came here as a wingman. Why are you here?
KO: The groom is my brother.
Me: Oh. Wow. Now that you say it, I see the resemblance. So why are we out here? You should be in there!!!!
KO: Nah, it's cool. I've been in there all day. Even in the morning, before any guests came. I need this break. And who better to spend these few minutes of calm and quiet with than the most beautiful girl at the party.
Me: Oh here we go. That's about the worst lie ever!
KO: I mean it. I see all the flashily clad women in there with all the layers of make up. And I won't lie. There are many hot babes in there. But you're the only one that caught my eye. And you caught my eye as soon as you walked in. You walked in with your friend, and I saw you hug some guy in a navy suit. My heart almost broke when you hugged him. I kept thinking 'Please don't sit with him. Please don't be his girlfriend.' Imagine my joy when you hugged him and kept moving. And then I kept waiting for the perfect time to talk to you. I kept waiting for you to be alone. And when your friend went to the bathroom, I knew that was my chance.
KO: Wait. Are you shy?
KO: Do you see why I thought you were deaf and dumb?

And then I burst out laughing. I'm not sure why the deaf and dumb thing gets me everytime. And even until now, it still serves as a good joke in certain situations.

KO: So what do you do, Mystery Lady?
Me: I'm in the process of setting up a travel business.
KO: Oh? A travel agency?
Me: Yes. But not in the regular naija sense where all they do is sell you tickets. It's going to be a full service agency, crafting entire holidays, cruises, and all that good stuff.
KO: Interesting. Beauty and brains.
Me: Thanks! So, what do you do?
KO: I have a haulage business.
Me: Oh? Sand, gravel, and all that stuff?
KO: No, oil & gas. Diesel really.
Me: That's cool. Oil  & gas big boy things!
KO: Yea right. Me I'm a hustler o. No where near big boy. That's the dream sha. To be a Lagos big boy.
Me: Not sure how I feel about Lagos big boys
KO: Don't worry. I'm nothing like those boys. I better ask right away, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Nope. (I sighed a sigh of relief; that he didn't ask if I had kids.)
KO: You're very beautiful, mystery woman.
Me: ....silence....
KO: Ah ah! What is it with you and your deaf and dumb, on & off?
Me: You asked if I was shy. I'm very shy. And I never know how to react or respond when I get a compliment.
KO: A simple 'Thank you', perhaps?
Me: Okay. Thank you.
KO: And your body is amazing. I know you tried to hide it in that loose dress. But I can see.
Me: Thank you. And guilty as charged, the dress is supposed to hide everything.
KO: Why would you want to drown your body in such a loose dress? If you've got it, flaunt it, no?
Me: I'm not really in a flaunting mood.
KO: Hmm. Okay o. Are you ready to go back in?
Me: Sure. I should go keep my friend company. Although I'm sure she would have found some friends to chill with.

And then he did a strange thing. He held my hand as we walked back out of the parking lot and into the hall. He walked me to my seat, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Don't leave without saying goodbye.' I tried to talk some sense into my own head. I reminded myself of my one year aloneness and celibacy plan. So I decided that even if he came back to me, I wouldn't let him take it any further.

The rest of the wedding was fun. In fact, it's probably the most fun I've ever had at a wedding. We were there until 2am! It pretty much turned into a club. The DJ was so amazing we danced for three hours straight without catching a break. I kept looking for KO on the dance floor, but I never saw him. I figured he was an oniranu that had probably taken another girl into his car to talk. I decided to 'face my front', since I didn't want to get into anything with any guy anyways.

As we were exiting the hall a few minutes past 2am, someone grabbed my waist from behind. I turned around, ready to slap whoever it was. And then I saw it was KO. We locked eyes for a few seconds, and my heart jumped. I promise you, I felt something I've never felt. I can't say it was love at first sight, because I don't believe in that. However, it was something at first sight. I let him leave his had on the small of my back, and he walked us to the car. When we got to the car, he asked for my number, and I gave it to him. He insisted on calling my phone, to be sure I gave him the right number. And then he asked, how do I store your number without a name? That's when I told him my name was Fela O.

To be continued...

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