Is it me or is everyone in Lagos a stylist or personal shopper these days? I guess fashion design is now getting too saturated and they are all settling for styling. I keep getting emails from people asking to be my personal shopper/stylist. Ehm...thanks but not thanks! I am very capable of buying my own clothes and dressing myself. And I think I do a damn good job, considering all the comments and compliments I get whenever I dress up. I wish people would explore other creative jobs though. But I guess that's where you know a true artist. They don't do what is in vogue, they do what their heart leads them to. I admire musicians like Bez that know for a fact that afro pop a la Davido is where the money is at, but decide to stick to their own special genre. In Nigerian terms, I appreciate you! LOL! Don't you just hate it when people say that to you????? "I APPRECIATE YOU". Death to whoever says that kind of nonsense!

Meeeeeanwhile, my friend from LA called me over the weekend with some juicy gossip. Lol, okay not gossip. I bet she won't appreciate me sharing her problems with the world. Hello drama! There were ten of them going to Vegas for someone's birthday and they rented two SUVs with third row seating. She gets to the meeting point, and who did she spot? Her husband's ex-girlfriend, LOL! And not just any ex...you know the really obnoxious one that won't stop calling your husband even though they've been over for more than five years? The one who pretends to just want to be friends when you know that any slight slip on your part - she'll be taking your place without looking back. So they sat through a four hour car ride, with the ex sitting right behind her. The world is so tiny though...because I still cannot imagine how both of them ended up in the same social circle. Let's call my friend Lucy - and let's call the ex Linda. Lucy's husband (I'll call him Frank) was also going on the same trip with them.

Long story short, when they got to Vegas, it was all well and good. Until Lucy found Frank and Linda having what looked like a heart-to-heart by the pool side when she returned early from a shopping trip...I guess heated pools make for heated conversations, LOL! She said hello to both of them, kissed her husband, and went upstairs to her room...saying she had a headache and needed a nap. Later that night, when they were all at dinner, she found that Linda somehow sat beside Frank (Lucy sat on the other side of him), and Frank was being a little too nice to her. This is the same ex he used to say all sorts about...."she's obnoxious"..."she was a long time ago, she can't possibly be my type anymore"...etc. Before the end of the night, Lucy started feeling like the ex, with all the attention Frank was giving to Linda.

Fastforward...the night before they left Vegas...Frank said he was going to catch up with the boys. Lucy and the girls decided to hit the casino, but Linda said she needed to do some last minute shopping. They weren't really feeling the slot machines so they decided to hit the town (since it was their last night anyways). What (or rather WHO) did they find? Linda & Frank, holding hands, while watching the water show at the Bellagio!!! ANYWAYS, Frank insists it was nothing, but Lucy isn't having it. She's now asking for my advice, and I think it's pretty obvious!


I had an amazing Valentine’s day. Yes! Even though I’m wife number 7, my hubby made the day extra special for me. When I got back from dropping Laje off at preschool, I met a huge bouquet of flowers in front of my door; accompanied by some heart shaped balloons. I thought, “Oh hey, well at least I didn’t roast for Valentines!” I thought that was it for me for Val’s. I had planned to have lunch with my friend, Remi…depending on her workload for the day.  You know with these investment bankers, you can never predict their schedules. I’m saying this as an ex-investment banker that used to work at the same firm. It’s particularly worse with Remi, as she’s currently married to her work and desperately seeking a promotion. Unfortunately, her career is one of the things that caused her divorce. I don't know why anyone would choose career over family; but hey, I love my friend! 

As soon as I opened the door and walked in, I found rose petals on the floor. I followed the rose petals into my bedroom, and the bed was made in crazy fancy sheets. There were scented candles burning too! By this time, I was wondering what the point was, when I was going to end up sleeping alone in the bed anyways. Alas! I was in for a major surprise. Gbenga jumped out of my walk-in closet, bearing gifts. I wish I could go into further details…but you know now… *wink*. Anyways, we ended up spending the entire day in bed and he got his driver and assistant to pick Laje up from school and take her out for a treat. It was TLC that I had been craving for the longest time! So, what did I get for Val’s? Not a lot. I got a diamond necklace, and I’m just dying to wear it out now! And I finally got my hands on the blackberry Porsche (I NEVER KNEW THAT THING WAS REAL OH!).

Meanwhile, over the weekend, I got to attend a wedding. I’m not friends with the bride or the groom, but my cousin asked me to go with her and you know I can never say no to small chops and free alcohol. Actually, maybe it wasn’t about the food and drink. I think it was the fact that it was a ‘society’ wedding that made it so irresistible. Apparently, the bride is the daughter of a former president. I even paid the N65,000 for the aso-ebi, even though I’m not an ‘ebi’ (family or close friend), so to speak.  I got HOK (House of Kunmi) to hook up the Austrian lace…I swear, the 30k I paid her was well worth it. I can’t tell you the number of guys that tried to holler. If only they knew I was a married mother of two. But it was nice to get all that male attention. I even saw some of my husband’s friends at the wedding. Apparently, they’re friends with the groom’s father. I’m surprised he wasn’t there.

My cousin, Nike, and I got to sit at a table of the snootiest Lagos girls. I thought I was bad, but I met my match. For the three or so hours that we sat at the table, I swear that all the conversations were about first class travel abroad (if only the knew some of us were now flying private - but whatever), the birkin bag, designer shoes, and such. I heard Japanese hair is the latest thing now. O ga oh! Anyways, I’ll tell my hair supplier to hook me up sharply so I can be one of the first few ones to rock it. OH! So the party favors they handed out included ipads and the blackberry touches (I would have bowed if they gave out the new Porsche). At least, my baby now has an ipad to play around with. I swear she uses my ipad a lot more than me, the owner. I downloaded lots of baby apps and she seems to have mastered the ipad better than me. My Lala is going to be a genius! You just watch. And she never asks me to open any app for her. She somehow finds her way around it. What was I playing with as a three year old?

I miss Junior so much sometimes. Sucks that he has to be away at boarding school, but I think it’s best for him. I couldn’t think of a better secondary school for him than Day Waterman College. I almost sent him to England, but his father decided he wanted him to be in Nigeria, as per his only son. Yes, Gbenga Junior is what brought my husband and me together. It’s a crazy story…and I don’t have anything better to do so I’ll share with you.

Our relationship first started when I was in S.S. 3. I met him randomly one day when I was with my parents at a house party on our street in Ikoyi. He asked me for my number, and I gave it to him. Yes, he was my father’s age mate, but at that point I had just dealt with a slew of stupid young boys and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try out an older man. He wasn’t my “aristo” so to speak, because I didn’t need anything from him financially. I thank God for my background, and that I never had to sleep around for money or anything. He took me out a few times, and we had an instant connection. Before I graduated, unfortunately, I got knocked up. As soon as I told him about my pregnancy, he dumped me and said he never wanted anything to do with me again. I told my parents everything, and despite their disappointment, they supported me. I had a baby boy, and named him Gbenga Junior, after his father. Because I got pregnant, all my hopes of going to Harvard were shattered. My parents told me I had to go to a University in Lagos so that they could monitor me. They couldn’t really trust me anymore. So, well, I ended up at Unilag and still graduated uni at the age of 22. Because I studied economics, I immediately got a job with an investment bank where I first served, and then became a full-time investment banker.

Sometime shortly after my 24th birthday, Mr. Gbenga Olulojulo himself came to my bank for some investment advice, and that’s where we ran into each other again. He asked how I was doing, and I said I was great.  He asked if I’ll meet up for lunch, strictly as friends and I did. While at lunch, it slipped that I had a son whom I had named after him, and he became really emotional. He asked for forgiveness and said he’ll do anything to take me back. Apparently, he had 6 other wives but none of them had a son for him. He had 10 daughters in all! I didn’t immediately jump back in, but instead took it really slow. Within 6 months, we got married…and by a year and a half later, I had my precious daughter. So that’s how I am now married to a 61 year old man. But I tell you, age really ain’t nothing but a number. I am very happy in my marriage and won’t have it any other way!


I was checking my e-mail for the fifth time this morning, and it was only 10am. Whenever my daughter, Laje, is off to school I get exceedingly bored and  stayed glued to my email…hoping for some action in my inbox. As I hit the ‘refresh’ button, I saw what I had been waiting for. It was an email from Kunmi; an invitation to the Fancyful Awards. Let me tell you a little bit about Lagos state..... there are a million award shows and red carpets each year. Every event is an opportunity to appear on a ‘red carpet’, and every ‘red carpet’ appearance is an opportunity to appear on justnaija.com (a fashion and entertainment blogazine).  And except for the 10% of young lagos women like my friend, Remi, everyone else wants to be on Just Naija. The email from Kunmi was for the TNW (The Nigerian Woman) Magazine awards…one of the  fashion magazines in the already over-saturated market.
“You are cordially invited to the inaugural issue of the Awards
Date: February 11
Venue: Lodale Hotel 45 Adeola Odeku, V.I.
Time: Red Carpet starts at 6pm; Launch starts at 8pm
Dress Code: Black Tie
Invitation admits two”
I couldn’t help the excitement that took over my body. Finally, I had an opportunity to rock the sexy sequined-out dress Kunmi (C.E.O. House of Kunmi) had gifted me for my birthday (on Monday).  I immediately got on the phone to Kunmi:
Fela: Hey Kunmi!  I just got your email. Do you think the sequined dress you gave me for my birthday is appropriate for the TNW awards?
Kunmi: Hey love! No, you gotta do better than that.
Fela: What? I mean the black entirely sequined out dress you gave me!
Kunmi: If you’re going to be my plus 1, you’re going to need something way  more glamorous than that. Why don’t you stop by the boutique and we’ll discuss?
Fela: Fine! See you in an hour or so!
I popped into “House of Kunmi” only thirty minutes after the phone conversation. An hour and N250,000 later, I burst out of the boutique realizing that I was late to pick up my three year old daughter, Laje, from preschool. Rolla Preschool  was one of those ‘pick your child up at 12noon or pay a N10,000 fine, even if you’re only ten minutes late' schools. I dashed into my car, and sped like a maniac out of Victoria Island, and into Ikoyi. Unfortunately for me, I ran a ‘not so red’ light and the eagles aka LASTMA (Lagos Transport Management Authority) got in front of my car before I could escape.
            Fela: Good afternoon officer, is there a problem?
            LASTMA Guy #1: No madam, there’s no problem. But you just drove across a
red light back there.
Fela: Which red light? I didn’t see any red light oh! Is the light even working? 
I didn’t see any light at all!
LASTMA Guy #2: Ehn, no problem! Just follow us to the LASTMA office. Your             
fine is only N40,000.
Fela: WHY? Because I’m driving BMW abi? Do you even know who I am? Is it             
because I stopped for you? I could have hit you with my car even as you were             
standing in front of me. But out of respect I stopped, and you want to loot me             
abi? No problem. Just hold on oh. 

I brought my phone to call my husband. You see, my husband, Gbenga Olulojulo, is one of the most powerful men in Lagos. I met Gbenga in S.S.3 (the 12th grade). He owns and runs one of the most successful oil servicing firms in the country, Lulo Oil. Never mind that I'm the seventh wife, and he is still married to the other six wives. He set me up nicely in a serviced flat in Ikoyi, and every month like clockwork, I get my deposit of N_000 000 (you guess!). With this, I'm okay with seeing him once a week (make that twice a month during busy months at work).  The phone rang and rang and rang, until it cut off. Who knows if he was actually at work, or with one of my 'iyales' (older wives). I checked the time, it was already 12:30pm. I didn’t even care about the late fee anymore. Poor Laje would probably be cranky by the time I got there. Left with no choice, I let one of the LASTMA guys into the car and agreed to go to their office in Victoria Island.

As soon as MR. LASTMA got in the car, I hit the ‘full lock’ feature on my fancy new BMW so he couldn’t open the door himself no matter whether he was inside the car or outside the car. Instead of turning around to the Ikoyi Bridge  in order to get back to VI, I put my foot to the pedal and sped all the way to Laje’s school. The entire time, the LASTMA guy kept shouting, “Madam! Turn around. This isn’t the way to our office. Mama. Turn around please…” I drowned out his voice in my new gospel CD and pretended I was alone in the car. When I got to Rolla Preschool, I hurried out of the car and locked Mr. LASTMA in the car. By now his authoritative voice had turned into a begging one..."Madam please now. Madam, e jo ma. Madam no do like this…” I ignored him. I ran to the ‘late room’ to find Laje; the poor thing was the only child left to be picked up.
            Fela: Lala darling, I’m so sorry I’m late again. I promise this is the last time!
            Laje: Mummy you said that yesterday
            Fela: Okay, let me make it up to you. Let’s go get icecream
            Laje: Icecream makes you fat. Mummy fat. 
Well then! Even my three year old could see all the weight I've gained in the last two months. FML! Time to hit the gym! 

Fela O.